update on my missing stray.

No, he hasn't been found....but a lot has happened since I last wrote. I spent 2 whole days searching in the village, where he went missing. The first time, the day after I heard; the second time, last Sunday. I travelled south, the day before, and stayed overnight at a friend's house, so I didn't have to drive all that way (150 kms/95 miles one way) on 1 day again.


I put up 150 flyers in total (in the whole village, plus part of the city of Breda where someone thought, she saw him); on the streets, at the local vet's, supermarket and library and also delivered flyers house-to-house in the near vicinity of where he went missing. Plus I made sure, a message (with picture) was put on local TV, local internet-sites and today, an ad will appear in 2 local newspapers.


So far, I've driven about 750 kms/470 miles and spent almost 200 euros/275 US Dollars on flyers and ads, but still nothing!


And I haven't heard anything anymore from my "friend"/former neighbor, who was the middle person in this situation. She was the one, who convinced me, her friend was the perfect woman to take in my stray and give him a good home. I've known this "friend"/neighbbor for over 15 years and she knows, what a terrible year, I've had (with illnesses and operations and next-door-neighbor-trouble, etc), so I blame her for talking me into this, eventhough she knew, my judgment is bad at present, because of all this trouble! How wrong can you be about a person... And now, she is a huge coward, for not even calling to ask how I'm coping and for letting me handle this, all by myself and not even offering to help!


Well, I've had an emotional breakdown! Even the doctor can't help! Since I heard this awful news, I haven't been able to sleep or eat and all I do is cry, throw up and have diarrhoea; out of fear and grief over this poor animal. I don't know what to do anymore...the guilt is killing me...I'm SO angry at myself....for giving him away! I will blame myself for the rest of my life....that's for sure! That poor sweety trusted me....trusted me to do the right thing for him....but I betrayed that trust....and now, I will have to live with that for ever....


I read this somewhere lately: "There comes a time in your life when you realise who matters, who never did and who always will. So, don't worry about the people from your past, because there is a reason they didn't make it into your future. I have certainly learned this the hard way."


Well...so have I....I'm absolutely devastated about this missing sweety....and I'm sick and tired of the lack of concern of these 2 women involved! I keep wondering if he has something to eat...a place to be dry and warm enough....if cat-haters are chasing him out of their precious gardens....or if he is slowly suffering to death.... The not knowing is so very, very difficult...I'd rather have found him dead; then, I'd at least have known where he is now...